SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize