How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
