he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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