Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think your dad took our porno
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
