my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
