Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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