Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize