What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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