I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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