I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize