Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
