That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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