did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
