dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
