He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
