quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
