Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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