I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
