Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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