Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
