I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
