i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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