i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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