I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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