so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
