just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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