i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
