I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Shame is for Republicans.
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