break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
