So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
