I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
