omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize