i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
