you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
