After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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