Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
