One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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