I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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