they need to just BURY HIM!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
