apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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