Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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