I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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