I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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