I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
