Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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