Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He better not be in your backpack
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
