he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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