That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize