Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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