dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
