No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
