I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
