You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize