do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
