Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
