So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
