porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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