you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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