North Korea, Best Korea!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We left the knife in your bed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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