Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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