she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
