is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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