i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
