Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
