gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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