I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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