I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
