I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
