i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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