Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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