You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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