Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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