I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
