how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
