I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
