i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Say something about gay babies.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
