I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
