so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
